It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
