She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
