Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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