I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
