Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
