Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she told me i tasted like america
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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