so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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