No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
