I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think a kid would responsible me up
Also, beer. Big fan.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
