Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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