He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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