the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
