butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
