I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
