I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
