Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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