she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
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