He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize