He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
