hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
