Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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