Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
