we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
