whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
