if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Let's get the cat blown out
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
