i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
