Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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