I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
