If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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