Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
