Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
