I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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