Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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