Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
