hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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