are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
