see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
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