I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
Dating After Heartbreak
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.