it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
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Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.