She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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