I'm eating all of the evidence.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
