Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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