Sponge bath it is.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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