it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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