I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
