I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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