If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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