You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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