he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
