wat bout pragnant strippers??
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
