I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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