It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
