So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
