Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
