You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
