I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
