I love black thongs
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
