I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
