Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
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You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
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Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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